


I See Your Darkness

by Akiko_Natsuko



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Blood and Injury, Demons, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Control, Memories, Team as Family, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 05:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17595083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Freed felt his heart constrict at the sight of Natsu huddled in the corner of the basement, head buried in his knees as tremors wracked his body…





	I See Your Darkness

    Freed hissed as Wendy gingerly peeled back the material of his shirt, the material caught in the wound, and he had to close his eyes as she whispered a warning before pulling the last bit away. It hurt, and the bed beneath him creaked in progress as his hands tightened on the frame. Her distressed noise was echoed by his teammates who had refused to be left behind when he had staggered into the guild, bleeding heavily, and with one hand pressed firmly against his shoulder. Opening his eyes, he looked up just in time to see the horror and the anger that was building behind it before they were able to mask it, and he automatically moved to try and hide the wound from sight.

“It’s nothing.” The lie was weak even to his own ears, but he met their gazes steadily, even as he saw their disbelief and the anger that was bleeding through again. “Wendy, if you could. I have someone I need to be.” He hadn’t wanted to come here in the first place, but he knew that the wound was serious and that seeing him covered in blood wasn’t going to help anyone. Wendy was already working, her magic glowing around her hands as she nudged his hand out of the way, and he could already feel her Sky magic getting to work, easing the pain even before the torn flesh began to heal. “Thank you…”

“Freed…”

“Don’t,” Freed shook his head, taking his gaze away from the healing wound to look at Evergreen who had stepped forward with a scowl, that only deepened as she got a closer look at his injury. “This was an accident, nothing more.”

“Maybe,” Bickslow was somewhat gentler in his approach, perhaps because he had seen the stubborn set to Freed’s chin, or maybe because he knew that there was only one outcome to this discussion. “But this is the third time this week.”

“So? Don’t you remember how I was at the beginning?” Freed demanded, careful not to raise his voice. He didn’t want this to turn into a fight, nor did he want others to hear what was going on, knowing that it would only make the situation worse.  “I injured you two more times than I can count.” Shame coloured his words now because while they had long forgiven him, and he had fought hard to gain the control he had now, he had never forgotten those days when the demon beneath his skin had fought him daily for control of his body. The days where his mood could change in a split second, and where his teammates had been the ones to bear the brunt of his other side, refusing to leave him, and stopping him from lashing out at anyone else.

_That was a different time._

    At least that was what he had been trying to tell himself ever since Natsu had started showing glimpses of his demonic side that they had thought had been banished during the war. He wasn’t sure who had been more shocked when Natsu’s control had slipped during a sparring match, the darkness in the Dragon-slayer reacting to Freed’s demonic side as he had dipped into that part of his magic. That had been the first time he had ended up in the infirmary under Wendy’s care, as he had been unprepared and unwilling to fight full force against someone who wasn’t in total control and it had come at the cost of his own blood. However, that time at least Natsu had come with him, pacing agitatedly around the room and refusing to even look at Freed until he had been patched up. Today he was…

“This was an accident, and I need to go find him.” _Before he does anything stupid,_ Freed added silently. There was no way he was voicing that thought aloud in front of his teammates, who had immediately opened their mouths to protest. He knew that if they thought Natsu was more dangerous than he was, then there was no way they would let him go, let alone by himself, but he knew without a doubt that Natsu couldn’t handle having anyone else around right now. _Because I was the same…_ He had accepted Bickslow and Evergreen, although not without a fight, but it had taken him a while to let others close and to trust himself around other people, and his heart ached knowing what the Dragon-slayer was going through right now. “Wendy?”

     For all his impatience, he wasn’t foolish enough to rush off injured, and he bit back a sigh when she shook her head, signalling that she was still working. Which alone told him that this was worse than usual, not that he had been expecting anything else, because the demonic markings that had previously been restricted to Natsu’s hands and lower arms had crept up until they were curling across onto his torso. _Natsu…_ He wasn’t sure whether it was because they had spent the last couple of weeks training, trying to give Natsu the control he needed over this side of himself, or because of the nightmares that had wracked Natsu the night before. He hadn’t said much about them, he never did, and there was plenty to haunt his dreams… Igneel, E.N.D., Zeref…and this latest development, and now Freed wished that he had pushed, even if he could understand Natsu’s need to keep some stuff to himself. _But still…_

“Freed, are you sure about this?” Evergreen had apparently taken a hint from Bickslow’s approach because although her eyes were still flashing behind her glasses as she glared at him, her voice had softened. “I know that you want to help, but there was two of us when you were going through this, and…”

  _And even that was barely enough._

     Freed couldn’t entirely stop himself from flinching at the reminder, and he knew that they both saw it, but he refused to look away. He couldn’t forget what had happened back then, or how many times he had lost control, but he wouldn’t dwell on it, and he couldn’t let it colour his decisions now. “That was different, we were a team. No, we were friends.” They might not have acknowledged it back then, but the foundations at least had already been there, the three of them drawn together by magic and by circumstance, and he smiled now as he looked at them, meeting their gazes without hesitation. “I needed both of you, and I wanted your help even if I couldn’t always put that not words. But Natsu is different… he’s not ready to let anyone else close, and that needs to be respected, just as you kept the others away until I was ready.” Even Laxus had been held at bay on occasion, although that had been the early days, long before the Dragon-slayer had accepted let alone welcomed their company.

“But…” Bickslow was the one to silence her this time, stepping up alongside her and resting a hand on her shoulder, shaking his head when she opened her mouth to continue, and there was no trace of his usual grin as he looked at Freed.

“Be careful,” he warned, and Freed blinked before realising that Wendy was pulling away, the skin on his shoulder still reddened but no longer torn and bleeding.

“Thank you,” he murmured, already shrugging his shirt back up as he rose. Ideally, he would prefer to change, not wanting Natsu to see any reminder of what had happened, but he had wasted enough time as it was, and he knew how the dark thoughts could encroach in these times, and he was reluctant to leave Natsu alone any longer than necessary. Retrieving his coat, he glanced at Bickslow, hoping that he looked more confident that he felt at the moment. “I will be careful.”

“Then we’ll handle the others,” Evergreen replied with a sigh, smirking as he blinked in confusion. “What? Did you think that no one else noticed you entering with blood down your front?”

“I…”

“We will handle things here,” Bickslow added, shooing Freed towards the door.  “Tell Natsu that we said that he had better listen to you.” Freed nodded with a quirk of his lips, knowing that if anything the contrary Dragon-slayer would take that advice and go in the opposite direction, although the amusement was short-lived as he opened the door and slipped out, only to paused when Bickslow called after him. “And Freed?”

“Yes?”

“If he gets worse, we will intervene for both your sakes.” Freed stiffened, knowing that it was no half-hearted threat, and he gave a short, stiff-necked jerk of his head to show that he understood, before all but bolting from the room.

_I won’t let it come to that._

****

     Natsu had been on the move during the time he had been distracted in the infirmary, and Freed growled under his breath as he faltered outside the guild. The runes that he had placed on Natsu, with the Dragon-slayer’s permission, for just this eventuality were flaring, leaving a trail across Magnolia that crisscrossed in so many paces that it left him feeling dizzy. _Natsu._ He knew all too well the all-consuming need to get away from everything and everyone, the mind-numbing terror that came with the realisation that he could hurt someone without meaning to. It was a feeling that he had hoped to spare Natsu from experiencing, which was why they had been pushing the training, and the failure weighed on him for a moment before he stubbornly pushed it aside and took a deep breath. There would be a time for recriminations and doubts later once he knew that Natsu was safe, and this latest setback had at least been addressed if not resolved, and for that, he needed to find Natsu. And for that he needed clarity.

“Dark Écriture: Wings!” The wings had barely shimmered into view before he sprang into the air, rushing skywards even as he reached out along the rune trail that Natsu had woven across the town. It was a tangled mess, tugging him first in one direction and then another, before doubling back entirely, and he grimaced, feeling a headache forming as he worked to detangle the runes enough to get even a rough reading where Natsu might be. _Damn it, Natsu,_ he thought without heat, eyes widening as finally, he felt a tug on the edge of the rune trail…a pull that made him turn and come up short as he realised that the frenzied path had doubled back until it led to the guild itself. A frustrated noise that became an almost laugh slipped out as he dropped to the ground, letting go of the spell that had kept him aloft.

_Of course._

Natsu had told him to leave, practically screaming it at him once he’d realised what he’d done to Freed, but as frightened as the Dragon-slayer might be at the moment he hadn’t been able to ignore what had happened. He might not have been pacing in the infirmary this time, but he had clearly followed Freed and made sure that he was in the same place, undoubtedly able to hear what was going on from wherever he had hidden away. _And he let me just walk out of there._ They would need to have words about that once this was resolved, but for now, he had a Dragon-slayer to find and squaring his shoulders he headed for the guild once more.

    His return caused a ripple through the guild, and he realised that Evergreen had been right, his earlier entrance had been noticed by the others. However, he didn’t have eyes for them at the moment, trusting his teammates who he saw by the bar talking to Makarov and no doubt informing him of what had happened to handle the questions as he looked around, searching for the trail that he now knew to look for.

    It still took him a long moment of searching to spot the gleam of his own magic, realising that Natsu had slipped in through the back of the guild and…headed down to the basement. Freed was moving even before he had fully connected the pieces, shaking his head when he saw Bickslow and Evergreen walking across as though to join him, seeing the dawning realisation on their faces as they followed his focused gaze. However, his focus was on his goal as he hurried forward, gently pushing past Mira who had just rounded the bar, ignoring her startled exclamation as he shoved open the door to the basement and slipped inside. The fact that it hadn’t been barricaded was a relief and gave him hope that his presence would be welcomed, but to be on the safe side, he paused just long enough to put up a protective ward that would keep all but the most determined intruders out while he talked to Natsu.

    The basement was dimly lit by lacrima strung along the wall, and he resisted the urge to strengthen their light, remembering how sensitive his eyes had been in the early stages of learning his magic. As though the demon needed to shrink away from all forms of light. And there was no way he was going to do anything to upset or aggravate Natsu at the moment, instead, cautiously moving down the steps, noting the odd scorch mark that indicated that Natsu had only just been holding onto his control when he had come down here.

“Natsu?” He called softly as he reached the bottom step, knowing that he didn’t need to raise his voice for the Dragon-slayer to hear him. There was no response, but there was a subtle shift in the temperature of the room, and he knew that Natsu was at least aware of his presence, even if he wasn’t ready to acknowledge him, and that gave Freed the courage to step into the basement proper.

    It didn’t take him long to locate Natsu, even with all the barrels and boxes that were stored down here, the pink hair refusing to be hidden even now. Although there was small comfort in that, and Freed felt something in his chest constrict as he moved forward until he could clearly see Natsu, the Dragon-slayer huddled in the furthest corner of the room. He was huddled in on himself, head buried against his knees, even as tremors wracked his body, leaving him shaking so hard that Freed wondered at the fact that he hadn’t heard it as soon as he had arrived. “Natsu…” Still no response, but he wasn’t foolish enough to believe that Natsu hadn’t heard him and wasn’t aware of every step he took as he cautiously moved forwards, refusing to allow Natsu to be hurt further because he moved recklessly in his worry.

    There was a darkness in the air around Natsu that became clearer as he approached, and he winced, realising the demon was still too close to the surface, although what he could see of Natsu’s arms reassured him that it wasn’t loose. _Yet._

“Natsu,” he murmured again, as he closed the last of the distance between them, and finally he got a reaction as Natsu stiffened, almost rigid in his fear, his voice higher than usual.

“Stay away.”

“No,” Freed replied simply, knowing better than to waste his breath on other words right now. He had been in this position too many times himself, and he knew that words were not enough, not yet, when Natsu was not at the point where he had even begun to accept what was happening. His quiet refusal drew a ragged sound from the Dragon-slayer that he knew was only a breath away from a sob, and he was quick to move before it could become one. Before Natsu could protest he had settled in the space next to him, sitting so close that their sides were pressed together, allowing him to feel the trembling, and the flinch that met his touch, but more importantly Natsu wasn’t pulling away although he seemed to have frozen in place, barely breathing. There were words he could say, reassurances, promises, but he knew that right now they would sound like little more than platitudes, and so he kept it simple as he wrapped an arm around shaking shoulders, saying the words that Bickslow and Evergreen had repeated over and over, until he was finally ready to believe them. “I’m here…”

_I see your darkness Natsu, and it doesn’t frighten me._

 


End file.
